The consensus seems to be that while couples’ drug rehab is possible, the reality is that it’s unrealistic and improbable. Relationships are different for everyone, and the possibility of succeeding in couples drug rehab depends on the people in the relationship.
People are usually unwilling to give up all of their vices at the same time and try to compromise. This is often why they hold onto an unhealthy partner while undergoing huge changes in treatment and rehab.
More often than not, those who go into rehab with their partner will either relapse or lose their relationship in the process. This is usually because they can’t focus on recovery, can’t invest in themselves, or find that they’ve changed during rehab.
While there have been cases where couples have succeeded in rehab together, this is the exception rather than the rule. Those who succeed are usually those open to following suggestions and giving each other the mental space to grow. Often, these are married couples who have been together longer than they’ve been using.
These individuals often have a real relationship and commitment that isn’t rooted in drug abuse or unhealthy and inherently abusive. Unfortunately, this is far from the norm for those seeking treatment.
You’re Constantly Distracted
The truth is that most couples that enter rehab together will end up using together. This happens because instead of focusing and worrying about your own wellbeing, you’re constantly preoccupied with your partner.
It’s hard to take a real, raw look at yourself without filters when you’re focusing with your significant other. Being together can encourage codependency and codependent behaviors, which is detrimental to the treatment process.
Emotions like jealousy can keep you worried and focused on your partner instead of on your personal growth. Having your partner in rehab with you is an easy way to excuse not focusing on yourself.
Being together also limits your ability to speak freely and vulnerably about your feelings, experiences, and traumas. Intimate and vulnerable group therapies become harder when codependency comes into play because of issues that can arise.
Some partners or spouses might not be prepared to handle new information that comes up during shared group therapy sessions. Because there is no room to process feelings on an individual level, this can create a rift in the relationship. Due to the delicate nature of treatment and recovery, this can potentially cause one or both individuals to relapse.
People, places and things are all triggers that can set you up for failure. For some people, their partner is a living, breathing trigger that puts their sobriety at risk.
Treatment Is A Time to Invest in Yourself
Most people years into recovery will tell you that recovery is an inside job. Recovery is personal and separate in every case, every time.
When you go into rehab with your partner, you’re depending on someone else’s growth to define and encourage your own. If you go to treatment with your partner, you’ll be depending on them for happiness and support.
It’s human nature to fail, and when your partner fails you, you might equate your recovery success to your relationship. It’s better to give your relationship space and time to be separate in order to work on your own programs.
The truth is that it’s in your best interest to focus on treatment and love yourself first. You can’t properly love someone without self-love, and learning how to love yourself involves spending time alone with your thoughts. Sacrificing time now and being separate during this process is the best way to guarantee a future for yourself and your relationship.
You Won’t Be the Same Person After Rehab
When you’re addicted to drugs, you turn into a completely different person. If you’ve spent a significant amount of time trapped in addiction, you don’t know who you are outside of drugs and alcohol.
The problem is that if you don’t know yourself, you can’t expect a relationship built on drugs to succeed. While you might feel like you’re in love with your partner, it’s complicated if you’ve been abusing drugs with them. If your using partner is also your romantic partner, it might not be a real relationship based on real love.
When you’re abusing drugs with someone, they become part of the drug experience. In some ways, their love can also become like a drug to you. This means that part of the treatment process is learning how to get clean from them too.
It can be hard to spend time away from the person you’re in love with. However, if the relationship is real and has a chance, it should be able to withstand a break and flourish afterwards. You might also find that after treatment you might need time alone, or that the relationship doesn’t benefit your recovery.
Getting Help Outside of Couples Drug Rehab
The truth is, the longer you put off getting the individual treatment you need, the longer you spend gambling with death. As much as you might want to go to a drug rehab program for couples, it might be better to be alone.
If you’re looking for treatment programs and are afraid of taking that final step by yourself, we’re here to support you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is focus on yourself and getting the help you need. Call or reach out to us today to explore your options and see how we can help you.