RECONNECTING FAMILIES IN ADDICTION RECOVERY

The very nature of addiction puts people who are going through it in different roles. Values systems, morals, choices and other factors tend to automatically place people those who are dealing with substance use disorder, both directly and within their family, in certain positions have come to be common elements in the family recovery and healing processes. Understanding these roles can help you and your family more effectively navigate the aftermath of addiction.

• The Addict – While the term has come to be something of a pejorative, addict doesn’t have to, or shouldn’t be, a loaded word. Getting rid of the negative connotations associated with the word and ridding the mind of all negative stereotypes is an important part of family healing. The addict literally has their brain chemistry hijacked by drugs or alcohol. As a result, they exist in a chaotic and gradually escalating state of dysfunction as they attempt to outrun withdrawal symptoms and chase their next high. Actions of an addict will invariably include lying, deceit, manipulation and aggression during active use.
• The Enabler – The enabler, however, well-intentioned, is often one of the main drivers of substance. They will either deny a problem exists, try to keep the peace, or please the addict because they’re in a co-dependent relationship. The enabler will often do things, like turn a blind eye to substance use, bargain with their addicted loved one, offer rides and money and constantly go back on accountability measures they initially put in place.
• The Hero – LThe hero will often try to bring the family together during the tough times often brought about by family substance use. They’ll emerge as a sort of “family leader” and try to get their family to coalesce around their addicted loved one. The hero often has a “type-a” personality and perfectionist tendencies and think that it’s their responsibility to try and fix things. This sense of pressure can actually affect their physical and mental health, while inadvertently getting in the way of a loved one’s recovery.
• The Scapegoat – The scapegoat is the person that gets blamed for issues within the family, while the addict is shielded from culpability in the drama and dysfunction. This is often someone who is particularly close with the addict and is in a position to enable their behavior.
• The Mascot – The mascot is constantly trying to defuse family tension by offering humor or distractions. They’re acutely aware of the trauma the family is experiencing and see it as their role to make everyone feel better. Unfortunately, this can often distract from addressing the reality of the problem and successfully intervening in a loved one’s addiction.
• The Mediator – – The mediator is a toned-down version of the hero. They’re the people who try to connect the addicted loved with the rest of their family to establish a dialogue and figure out a way forward in recovery. While the mediator has noble intentions, they often leave themselves open to abuse and hurt feelings by trying to exist in both worlds.
• The Lost Child – – The lost child is the member of the family that often feels overlooked, ignored and neglected as their loved one’s addiction looms large over the family. They tend to stay in the shadows and don’t get a lot of attention, nor do they seek it.

Each of these family roles interact differently with one another. The Recovery Unplugged Family Program strives to address the intricacies and complexities of all these personality types when present in the family.