I got some pain pills for a back injury. My doctor just gave me percocets. I think at that time you had to take four a day or one every time you felt pain. They gave me so much energy, I liked them. I just wanted more and more and more. I kept going back to my doctor and requesting more and he just kept giving it to me. Next thing you know, I’m on a prescription for nineteen percocets a day.
My sexuality played a big role in my party life. Using not only percocets but so many other things led to more drug usage. I was trading percocets for ecstasy and GHB, and I was just using it to go out and party.
A DUI in October of 2011 was my rock bottom. I had lost my company from just not paying attention to it because of drugs, I had lost my relationship of eleven years, and then I got a DUI. The DUI did it for me. My doctor cut me off of the prescription because he was being looked at by the DEA, and no one in their right mind should be getting nineteen percocets a day anyway. I used to turn to my mom every time I was in withdrawal, because her husband gets oxycontin for a back injury. So I’d go crying to her saying I was sick all the time and she’d feel bad for me, and give me pills. She’d steal them from my step-dad. I was cut off cold turkey, so I went to a pain management doctor and one thing led to another, I got my DUI, and that was it for me. After chasing drugs all the time, I was just fed up.
I didn’t think too much of my kid whenever I was in active addiction. I didn’t think too much about anybody. I was just worried about getting my next fix. I wasn’t about getting high, it wasn’t like that at all. It was just being able to function. I needed the pills to be able to function. I didn’t get high anymore, it was just feeling normal, feeling functional, and being able to do my daily tasks and go to work and do things that needed to get done. I didn’t think about my kid, I didn’t think about my parents or anybody else. So I neglected my son for a couple of years, for four years. And I’m trying to make it right by getting into his life now, but he’s grown. So there’s a lot of life that I missed out with him. My son is in school to become a pharmacist, and he tells me, “Don’t worry dad, I’ll keep the pills away from you.”
My biggest takeaway from recovery is the fact that we’re saving lives. I mean, me being in recovery and working for recovery allows me to help other people. It’s something that is fulfilling. If you or a loved one struggles from addiction, you’re not alone. What I’d say to people in active addiction is, whenever they’re ready, get help. No one’s just going to go out and get help. They know they have a problem, but they’re not ready to put the drugs down because they know they’ll go into withdrawal, and withdrawal makes you feel like shit, makes you feel like you want to die. Who wants to feel like that? So whenever they hit rock bottom or whenever something tragic happens in their life that makes them feel like it’s time to quit, get help. If not with Recovery Unplugged, then somewhere else.
I would encourage families to give addicts tough love, because that will help expedite the process. Stop giving to your son, daughter, loved one, whoever’s using. Stop enabling them. If they keep doing it the problem’s just going to continue on and who knows what’ll come up in the future. Who knows if they’ll continue living?